Back to life

Well, I (finally!) had my neurology appointment today. It went better than I expected.

I'm thankful that I have an amazing neurologist who doesn't push me in the wrong (for me) direction.

The best news of the days was this: No back surgery!!! At least, not for now.

She was very responsive to the fact that we'll be going back to the fertility clinic soon, and was wonderful about offering treatments that I can continue while pregnant.

She is concerned with not only the amount of pain, but also the burning. Mainly because they involve two different parts of the spine. So, another MRI was ordered. She is fairly positive that the disc did in fact slip. She's just worried that my spinal issues may have gotten worse since the last MRI a year ago.

She put me on Tramadol for the pain in my back for now. I can't take this while pregnant, but if I do get pregnant and the pain gets worse, she's willing to put me on straight morphine, like I was while I was pregnant with Noah.

She gave me a lidocane patch for the burning in my thigh. BTW, these patches feel WEIRD! I'll be able to use these while I'm pregnant if I need to, so that's a relief.

After the MRI comes the scary (for me) part. I'll be getting shots in my back. A mixture of cortisone, lidocane, and something else I don't remember. She said that she wants to "stack" these and that I'll be getting them more often than normal once they get the MRI results. The reasoning for this is she is hoping to build up the amount of the steroid in my system so that I don't have as many issues when I do become pregnant.

So, that's the plan for now. We'll know more after the MRI and I get go see pain management.

I'm so thankful that my doctor is willing to work with me on this, and be patient and understanding about us wanting another child. The last neurologist told me I should forget about it, since it would only make things worse. This doc is helping to manage it as best we can until we can have a more permanent solution.

And i'm thankful that Cody is so loving and understanding through all this. I know that on days when it's really bad, and i can't get out of bed, I can't be fun to be around. I'm so thankful that if all of this does have to happen, at least it's while he's home and not deployed! And I'm thankful that Noah is such a good nurse! He's always checking on me and bringing me snacks. :)

For being in so much pain, I'm a pretty lucky gal!

Interview with Noah, 6 months later

Interview with Noah, age 4

Favorite Food...............................: Noodles
Favorite Book...............................: Power Rangers
Favorote TV Show............................: Power Rangers
Favorite Movie..............................: Power Rangers (I'm detecting a trend)
Favorite Color..............................: Green and Red and Black
Favorite Friend.............................: Katelyn
Favorite Place to go........................: School
Favorite Thing to do........................: Play Beyblades
Favorite Toy................................: Beyblades
Favorite Clothes............................: The ones that I wear
Who is your best friend.....................: Katelyn
Who is Mommy's best friend..................: Abby
Who is Daddy's best friend..................: Poppy
Do you have a girlfriend....................: NOOO!!!
What do you love to do......................: Play Beyblades
What's your favorite snack..................: Popsicles
What's mommy's favorite snack...............: A lollipop
What's Mom's favorite thing to watch on TV..: Commercials
What song do you love to sing...............: Power Rangers
What makes you happy........................: Playing Beyblades
What makes you sad..........................: fighting
Are you scared of anything..................: No, I'm brave!
If so, What & why...........................:
Is mom or Dad scared of anything............: No, because I protect you.
Who do you love.............................: Katelyn
Who loves you...............................: Katelyn

Holding Out & Holding On

Is it May yet?

I'm ready for it to be. At least, I think I am.

May. The month when it all starts again. The month when I can call up my fertility doctor, and say, we're ready!

Are we really? Am I really? Am I ready to be poked and prodded? To inject myself with powerful drugs that make me, for lack of a better term, a psycho dragon lady? Am I ready to put my body through all of this again? I think so. I hope so. Because I know that I will.

I'm hopeful right now. I'm hopeful that it won't take that many rounds of treatments and procedures to get pregnant (Let's hope for 1!!). I'm hopeful that my body will be able to maintain a healthy pregnancy. I am hopeful for what the future may bring.

I am confident right now too. I am confident that my doctors will choose the right plan of action for me. I am confident that once I become pregnant, my doctors will do everything within their power to make sure I stay that way. But most of all, I am confident that God has a plan for my family. And I know that part of that plan is to see my family grow. I can feel it somehow.

Psalm 27:14 tells us:
Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart. And wait for the Lord.

That's just what I'll do. I'll wait for May, and I'll wait for the Lord. I'll continue to pray that the timing is right, and that I'll be shown a miracle.